Aaron Informs Me Today Is Thursday!

I figure most of you are up on all of your dates, but I live in a perpetual fog!

:::::::::::::Eve Swimming:::::::::




:::::::::::::A Family Reunion Layout:::::::::



My niece, Dakotta, and her icy stare!



Text: Dakotta and Corinna were having a very busy and messy day. This is only one look in Dakotta's arsenal. She will sternly stare at people of any age or gender, so watch out paparazzi!

_{Photo by: Marcus John Taylor
Darcy Baldwin: Rubbed Out Alpha and DJB GINAM1 at The Digichick
Christina Renee: Dirty notes, Glitter Splats, Label alpha, Bookplate Alpha, Just for Fun Doodle
Catrine: Chalked Alpha
Sausan Designs: flower from Needful Things
Shabby Miss Jenn: frame from Tree Trimmin' Party
Natalie Braxton: Things on Strings
Nancy Comelab: Vintage Frame
Tia Bennett: All Taped Up brush frame
Paint The Moon: Freebie flower}


::::::::::::::::::Good Deed::::::::::::::

Aaron heard me coughing at the computer and he said, "Mom, let me fix you some chicken soup!" So in 15 minutes I had a steaming hot bowl of soup in front of me and a hug from my 13 year-old. What a nice "Hallmark" moment. Thank you, Aaron!

::::::::::::::::::First Aid:::::::::::::::

Our next door neighbor, Kristen, was kind enough to agree to teach a first aid course to the Scouts last night. She had them realize that there is more to administering aid then just attending the victim. She explained about being aware of the scene of the accident and that you don't want to create more victims by just rushing in without accessing the situation. Michael was hightly impressed with all of the information and how she demonstrated everything to the young men.

::::::::::::::::::Reading Book::::::::::::

I am on chapter 3 of Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) and have already begun to do my classic paper tearing and bookmarking pages to reference when I'm finished. The examples used by the authors are so appropriate. I analyze what I would do in certain situations and realize that the slippery slope of self-justification is quite a busy thoroughfare with a whole lot of casualities at the bottom. Here are a few excerpts that really had me thinking:

"Self-justification has costs and benefits. By itself, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It lets us sleep at night. Without it, we would prolong the awful pangs of embarrassment. We would torture ourselves with regret over the road not taken or over how badly we navigated the road we did take. We would agonize in the aftermath of almost every decision... Yet mindless self-justification, like quicksand, can draw us deeper into disaster. It blocks our abily to even see our errors, let alone correct them."

The chapter of cognitive dissonance was a real eye opener. In the section called "Spirals of Violence-and Virtue the authors explain that the concept of "catharsis" fostered by psychoanayltic beliefs about expressing anger and behaving aggressively gets rid of anger is patently false. They write, "Actually, decades of experimental research have found exactly the opposite: That when people vent their feelings aggressively they often fell worse, pump up their blood pressure, and make themselves angrier." They go onto say, "venting is expecially likely to backfire if a person commits an aggressive act against another person directly, which is exactly what cognitive dissonance theory would predict." What they relate is that once you have harmed someone you must then justify why you would do such a thing, then it creates a need to reduce your dissonance where you blame the victim of your outburst and you are more likely to escalate your next violent outburst.
In regards to the virtous cycle the authors write about how doing something good leads to changing our thinking of others. For example if we don't like someone, but on a whim do something nice for them we may begin to make the connection that that person must not be so bad, or I wouldn't have done something nice for them. That thought leads to the thought that maybe that person is not as bad as I thought.
Later on the book references an experiment by Benjamin Franklin during his time in the Pennsylvania legislature where there was a man who couldn't stand him. Franklin decided to win this guy over. He asked to borrow a rare book from the man's library, which the man agreed to lend. Franklin returned the book within a week with a note of gratitude. After that the man came up to speak to him "with great civility" and they continued from then on to be great friends until the man's death. Franklin wrote, "...the truth of an old maxim I had learned, which says, 'He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged."

This book is fascinating.


::::::::::::::::::::::We have Advent Calendars Galore::::::::::

There is an advent calendar in the kitchen and in the girls' room, but Rachel still decided to decorate her dry erase board with a Santa Claus and a countdown of the days until Christmas. Oh, the pressure! The kids think I'm not serious when I tell them there are no presents for them in the house...but I'm not. The only day for us to go shopping is today. Michael and Aaron have a campout this weekend and from what the calendar says I'm out of luck come next week. I may be giving the kids my reading book and explaining them the concept of cognitive dissonance during my self-justification speech on why time just got away and...here kids what a bag of Milky Ways...chocolate makes things better...really!

Smiles and Merry Christmas!