***Post of a personal nature...not scrapbook related...will post normal fluff and stuff tomorrow.
::::::::::::Phone Call:::::::::::::
Michael received a phone call from his mom that his brother is at the hospital with chest pains, but no definitive diagnosis. We will call tomorrow and find out more.
:::::::::::::Primary:::::::::::::::
Eve gave a talk in Primary, today. She was so proud that Michael and I were there to listen. Michael went up to help her give the talk and Rachel had helped her write what she wanted down. A great team effort! Eve was so funny giving the "Royal Wave" from her seat behind the podium.
::::::::::::Mixed Feelings:::::::::
In the afternoon we drove down to one of Michael's brother's home to celebrate his daughter's 2nd birthday. We packaged the bead socks I made her in a little Chinese Take Out box with a purple ribbon. The kids were excited to see and play with their cousins and aunts and uncles. After being there for about a half an hour Michael's sister noticed that the grill was spitting flames out the back. I went over and saw that a paper towel had caught fire, so I grabbed it off and stomped out the flames. Michael's brother came over and took care of the hamburgers that had been a bit charred. The smaller kids were occupied playing with a small sized bounce house for jumping. Aaron walked up to me with a sad look on his face. I asked him what the problem was and he said that no one would talk to him. He said that he tried to talk about things that had interested his cousins in their past meetings, but they weren't interested. Then, he tried to figure out what they were discussing and talk about what ever they wanted. Neither thing worked. He went outside and saw one of the cousins from the other side of the family, a young boy, get shoved over with the rambunctious play. He went to help and was leaning over the jump house to extricate the boy when a high pitched, "Aaron is pushing us over and won't stop it!" sounded out. Aaron stepped away in utter dejection and huge tears rolling down his face and said, "I can't do anything right!" I told him he didn't have to put up with being treated like this at a family gathering and that we would leave. I, quietly, thanked our SIL for inviting us and told her we needed to leave. I then placed a call to my stepmother, Alice who was delighted that we were so close and said that we were definitely welcome to stop by.
The sad part about this situation is that it isn't an isolated event. Unfortunately, it has occurred since we moved back from Utah when Aaron was 4. His cousins have never included him, willingly, in any conversations or activities. In fact, on several occasions one of his cousins would proudly and promptly announce to him that their parents said they didn't have to do anything with him. It is with this type of welcome, or being completely ignored at every family event for 9 years gets more than a bit wearing. It reminds me of the comedy films where the guy doesn't seem to be able to catch a break, but since it is real I'm not laughing. I know that the seed for our family get togethers was started in the purest and for the most loving reasons by my late father-in-law, and I know for a fact he would unreservedly have hugged Aaron and told him he loved him every time. I miss you Rog, and so does Aaron.
7 years ago
8 comments:
Rog firmly believed that his job on this Earth was to make others know that they were loved. He taught this by example.
Aaron paid attention and is teaching me how to continue on this path. It saddens me to see his efforts get ignored by those he cares so deeply about.
Since I'm pretty sure none of my in-laws read this blog, I can post this. Sometimes it sucks to live close to family. We had to limit our attendance at family gatherings for awhile when we had similar problems with my older son. Sadly, the problem stemmed from an adult who thought he had to police my son. He contstantly corrected Bridger's behavior without any authority to do so. Donnie and I would be right there with them. Luckily, that brother moved to Augusta and isn't at most gatherings anymore. I make it a point not to ever speak to him or his wife if I can help it. I know it sounds childish, but I'm done with people like that. Too bad he's my husband's brother.
My heart aches for Aaron. No one likes to feel left out--especially with family. I would have scooped up my kids and left, too. Good choice!
Oh, and missing grandparents who passed away too soon---that stinks, too!
Victoria,
I was unaware that you felt this way about this issue. I do not, however think this is the proper form to discuss this. Since a large number of "cousins" live with me, I would be happy to invite you and Michael over for dinner or out to dinner to discuss this. My treat.
Stephen.
what terrible things to post on the internet about your families. for this blog to be so wholesome and uplifting about families and love, you really have placed a dark cloud over your personalities, and your families. families are suppose to talk about their feelings and problems with family, not post them for the whole world to see. klonghall, you have really made yourself out to be a shallow person to have made such terrible comments about your husbands brother. your comments were shockingly cold and hatefull."Too bad he's my husband's brother." wow. maybe you should apply the Savior's atonement to your lives and try to forgive and talk to those family members who have offend you. i'm not perfect, however, i do know that all families including mine have serious issues at times, deal with them as a family and not on the internet. if those comments were said about you, i'm sure that your hearts would be shattered for years, and the awkwardness would be unbelieveable at the next family gathering.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your comment and getting right to the heart of the issue. Thank you also for asking about how Aaron is doing.
I am also easy to contact, so if you didn't like my comments you could reach me any time. I won't delete your post, even though it is, "Cold" in it's own way. Like your "anonymous" post so was mine. I hope you never have to deal with this yourself. It is a very disheartening situation.
Dear Anonymous,
Victoria stated her name and allowed those criticized to remain anonymous. You on the other hand have criticized her and other posters directly and kept yourself anonymous. Your anonymity will make our next family gathering that much more awkward, since we don’t know if you will be in attendance or not. Did you consider that when you decided not to leave your name?
Victoria, as long as Aaron knows that he is loved and accepted by his immediate family, he will be able to weather the rejection of extended family. I am speaking from experience. I never fit in with my cousins, no matter how hard I tried, so eventually I gave up. I don't know how it started, and I don't care anymore. Tell Aaron to keep his chin up, and keep doing his own thing. {{hugs}}
I am sorry to hear that your boy is being treated like that, I understand you being upset. They are childern and dont always relize that what they are doing is wrong. What you are doing is the very same thing only you are an adult and should know better. I am sure that this has hurt your family knowing that total strangers like me have been able to read and post comments. You might be able to help your son more by setting a good example and talking things out with your family. I wish you and you family the very best.
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